LATEST
HOLLYWOOD TREND!
COSMETIC
SURGERY
FOR PETS
When
you live in a place like Beverly Hills and hob nob
with the stars, appearances are important, which
is why plastic surgery is so popular there.
But
now, the beautiful people have taken it one step
further–they're getting cosmetic surgery for
their pets. Hollywood veterinary plastic surgeon,
Maxwell Schlump, gives us a look at his files:
"Take,
for example, this long haired Persian cat. Hair
that long has been out for years among the trendy
set. So why should the pets be burdened with such
unfashionable locks?" asks Dr. Schlump. "After just
three treatments, look how cutting edge this kitty
is. We tried other approaches but the feline never
quite got used to those waxings."
Even though these unique canines are known for their
wrinkles, one aging film star took her pup, YoHo,
in for face work. "She saw the look on his face
after her own nip and tuck, and he looked so sad
and saggy, she thought this would perk him up. And
I'm sure it did."
One
very well known Hollywood parrot has also gone under
the knife, according to Dr. Schlump. "Sure, he was
getting a lot of voice-over work, but did they ever
put his schnoz before the camera? No! But since
his beak job, he's already getting guest roles on
'Bay Watch.'"
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REMARKABLE INVENTIONS:
Wacky Times Invention Review
by Dr. Stanford Harvard Loop, PhD, MD, ADD, OCD
Wacky Times Science & Technology Editor
Our Science & Technology editor, Stanford Harvard Loop, went in search of the most remarkable inventions coming soon to the marketplace. It made sense then for us to send the professor to the annual National Technology Mart in Las Vegas, Nevada.
It turned out, however, that Dr. Loop got disoriented and his first two revolutionary products were actually discovered at the 99¢ store across the street from the convention. Nonetheless, some of the items Dr. Loop found may have never been seen before by most Americans:
WIRELESS EXTENSION CORD
How many times have you wanted to use a floor lamp across the room from where the wall plug is? You'd have to hide the cord under a rug or a pile of laundry. Or rearrange the room. Or bring in an electrician to add a plug to another wall. There was no ideal solution—until now.
It's really remarkable. Amber, technology advisior and part-time exotic dancer, explained it to me. "The Wireless Extension Cord employs a sophisticated nano-technology where miscroscopic electrons are propelled by synthetic gravity along a magnetized, holographic energy-vacuum duct."
"Of course," she added, "the technology is still only in the beginning stages. Right now we offer only standard 110-volt wireless cords for household use, though soon we expect to have heavier, 220-volt cords for dryers and power tools.
HANDS-FREE KEYBOARD
This is something I've wanted for a long time, as my wrists get sore leaning over my computer, typing. Now my hands and fingers get a rest. Why someone hasn't thought of this before is beyond me.
I asked Amber to please reveal what must be the remarkable development of this cutting-edge product. "I think they just took a regular keyboard and stuck a longer cord on it," she said.
That just goes to show us how some of the very best ideas are right before our eyes.
" The biggest obstacle the product has before it," Amber added, "is that most people aren't too good at typing in stuff with their toes. It's, like, a whole different set of skills."
DEHYDRATED LEMONADE - FOR SURVIVAL PACKS
When I saw this product, I thought: this is a life-saver! Imagine if an emergency event occurs that cuts off our water supply. Instead of sitting there in your house or bomb shelter thirsty, just open one of these packets, add water and you have a delicious, refreshing beverage to wet your parched tongue. Some ideas are so simple... it's amazing no one had thought of this before!
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More enticing news you won't want to miss:
Wacky Times Takeover
and
Animal
Rights Activists
Sue Chrysler Over Car Names
###
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