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MALPRACTICE
ATTORNEYS ACCIDENTALLY SUE THEMSELVES
CLASS
ACTION BLUNDER
In
a sweeping new national, class-action filing, a leading
malpractice attorney inadvertently filed a massive class-action
malpractice suit against himself, and tens of thousands
of other malpractice attorneys.
"When
I filled out the computerized lawsuit filing form,"
explained Milton Berdbrane, partner in a highly successful
class-action and malpractice law firm, Berdbrane, Looney
& Witless. "I accidentally typed in our own profession
at the spot for the defendant." And now I've just
sued every attorney in the country."
Named
in the suit are workers compensation attorneys, criminal
defense attorneys, legal malpractice attorneys, medical
malpractice attorneys, car accident lawyers, and lawyers
representing victims suffering from issues related to
asbestos, mesothelioma, cancer, pharmaceutical flaws,
and numerous car accident cases.
"The
odd thing is," says Berdbrane, "I think we're
gonna win this thing. I've already got fifty-three cases
pending in nine states, including Florida, New Jersey,
Michigan and California. And twenty look like they're
ready for a settlement. All because of a typographical
error."
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###
RETRACTIONS
(A Regular Feature):
We would like to retract everything we say in the Wacky Times.
To
complain, write your congressmen (as if they would care).
No part may be reproduced without the permission of the publisher,
who isn't likely to grant that permission without some pretty
big incentive. To secure permission send a suitcase of cash
to the publisher. The publisher assumes no responsibility
for unsolicited material.
###
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Mary Shelley
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