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LATEST
HOLLYWOOD TREND!
COSMETIC
SURGERY
FOR PETS

When
you live in a place like Beverly Hills and hob nob
with the stars, appearances are important, which
is why plastic surgery is so popular there.
But
now, the beautiful people have taken it one step
furtherthey're getting cosmetic surgery for
their pets. Hollywood veterinary plastic surgeon,
Maxwell Schlump, gives us a look at his files:
"Take,
for example, this long haired Persian cat. Hair
that long has been out for years among the trendy
set. So why should the pets be burdened with such
unfashionable locks?" asks Dr. Schlump. "After just
three treatments, look how cutting edge this kitty
is. We tried other approaches but the feline never
quite got used to those waxings."

Even though these unique canines are known for their
wrinkles, one aging film star took her pup, YoHo,
in for face work. "She saw the look on his face
after her own nip and tuck, and he looked so sad
and saggy, she thought this would perk him up. And
I'm sure it did."

One
very well known Hollywood parrot has also gone under
the knife, according to Dr. Schlump. "Sure, he was
getting a lot of voice-over work, but did they ever
put his schnoz before the camera? No! But since
his beak job, he's already getting guest roles on
'Bay Watch.'"
###
Animal
Rights Activists
Sue Chrysler Over Car Names
advertistment
Looking for that perfect body? The body you can show off at
the beach? Are you sick of the gym? Sick of crash diets? Want to increase
you're bust size? Reduce it? Looking to improve you're appearance or completely
transform you're body. Looking into plastic
surgery ? Whether you are in the market to get some liposuction
or considering going through with a tummy
tuck, you want to visit Plastic Surgery Portal. When considering
procedures to help you get that amazing body, check out Plastic Surgery Portal.

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###
RETRACTIONS
(A Regular Feature):
We would like to retract everything we say in the Wacky Times.
To
complain, write your congressmen (as if they would care).
No part may be reproduced without the permission of the publisher,
who isn't likely to grant that permission without some pretty
big incentive. To secure permission send a suitcase of cash
to the publisher. The publisher assumes no responsibility
for unsolicited material.
###
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