Wacky Times Retail News:

Politically Incorrect Shopping Mall

Shopping Mall

Tired of handling all your politically incorrect shopping through the mail and the Internet?

A unique retail plaza of restaurants and specialty stores has opened that let's you can take care of all your politically incorrect needs in one place, out of the view of the public. It even has discreet, underground parking. And, hey, if you run into someone you know once you're inside, who's going to talk?

The first stores to open in the new mall include:

California Condor Kitchen – An eatery specializing in a wide variety of fowl delicacies grilled to extinction. All dishes served rare.

The Furrier The Better – Featuring everything from stoles to full-length coats made from some of the world's most exotic and hard-to-find pelts. Some with ivory buttons.

The Sweat Shop – If you think values have only to do with prices, you'll love this store. Athletic shoes, clothing and accessories fabricated inexpensively overseas by the world's lowest overhead factories.

Spotted Owl Suitcases – Carrying luggage that's made of material so light, calling it featherweight is an understatement. Carved handles made from old-growth forests.

Guns In A Hurry – If you need a weapon in a hurry, this store carries every variety of firearm, from high-powered rifles with infrared sights to AK-47s. Convicts, okay. Gotta record? So do we. Background check? What's that?

###

RETRACTIONS (A Regular Feature):
We would like to retract everything we say in the Wacky Times.

To complain, write your congressmen (as if they would care). No part may be reproduced without the permission of the publisher, who isn't likely to grant that permission without some pretty big incentive. To secure permission send a suitcase of cash to the publisher. The publisher assumes no responsibility for unsolicited material.

###

Enjoy This.