Past President Clinton Opens New Restaurant Chain

Now that Hillary's in a Senate seat, Bill Clinton has launched his own plans for his post-presidential career. The President is opening a new chain of Washington DC-themed restaurants called: Bill's Big Boy.

A number of national figures are participating in the enterprise. Ross Perot, who is underwriting a substantial portion of the company's budget, donned a waitress' uniform to prove there remain no hard feelings between him and the president.

Perot is confident the new chain will do well. "The huge sucking sound you hear over at McDonalds–that's the sound of food dollars coming our way."

The eatery's signature dish is a sizable sandwich that Bill Clinton personally named: "The Whopper." It looks substantial, but is really empty inside.

Tyson's Chicken will supply a featured dish on the menu: "Fowl Play," comprised of a marinated chicken breast served on a bed of greens cut into the shapes of dollar bills–and served under the table.

The chain is expected to be highly profitable, given the plan to minimize labor costs by staffing the chain with interns. "Not only are these servers inexpensive," said the President, "they have a way of satisfying even the most demanding customers."