New 3-Bedroom Sport Utility Vehicles!

Citing Americans' increasing desire for comfort and roominess, a new line of luxury Sport Utility Vehicles has been introduced.

The first of the new vehicles, called the Exterminator, features three bedrooms, 1 1/2 baths and a fully equipped kitchen. The deluxe XL models also include a bonus room, which can be used as a fourth bedroom, den or office.

One dealer was excited about the new lines. "Consumers have been moving toward this for some time. First it was car radios. Then car phones. Now it's washers and dryers." The advertising slogan for the new, oversized vehicles: "You've never felt so at home on the road."

Not everyone is pleased with the new trend. Some drivers argue that the vehicles are environmentally irresponsible. "Those monsters burn a half a mile to the gallon. Just so some yuppie can say he's got room in the back for a billiards game."

The National Highway Traffic Safety Association also has concerns about the new vehicle size. "In initial tests, economy cars have fared poorly in collisions with these SUVs. One Geo ended up in the larger vehicle's dining room. Not only was the driver of the smaller car injured, but he also disrupted a rather expansive dinner party."

In spite of objections, the new vehicles look like they're here to stay. Sales are brisk, especially among families with concern for child safety. One mother puts it this way: "I just feel better having that hallway and extra bedroom between my child and the car next to us."

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TOXIC SPILL IN CONGRESS