New
"Credit Casino" opens in Vegas!
Had
a bit of a losing streak and you're short
on cash? You don't have to leave town... because
you never need a bankroll at Las Vegas' newest
attraction, "Credit Casino."
Each
Las Vegas casino has a unique theme. Circus
Circus has clowns and a trapeze act. New York
New York has Checker Cabs and a Manhattan
skyline.
But
never has there been a gambling house devoted
entirely to the theme of financing. You know
something is different the minute you step
inside and a scantily clad hostess hands you
a tall cocktail and a short credit application.
Simply fill in your social security number,
sign your name, and the excitement begins.
First
stop: Visa Card Craps. Step up to the table,
receive your Visa Card, and get ready to roll
the dice. Roll a point and you're on your
way to riches. Crap out, no problem! You've
got thirty days to pay your new balance.
Be
sure to stop by the Bank Loan Blackjack. Let's
say you bet your limit, look at your first
two cards and want to double-down? No problem.
Just sign another short form and bet away...
because you instantly created a personal line
of credit at Banker's Trust Of Boston. Did
you bust? There's no such thing at the Credit
Casino.Just sign another form and make another
bet.
Feeling
the pinch of your losses but still want to
play? Do you own a car? Then it sounds like
you're ready for their Pink Slip Slots. Simply
present your automobile ownership certificate
to the slot machine manager and select your
lucky machine. You've been to those casinos
that display a new car? Now you can have the
enhanced excitement of playing for your own
car! So, you're probably wondering, what happens
if I win my car back and still want to play?
Then you get to play for the car of the guy
sitting at the machine next to you! The opportunity
for exciting interaction between casino guests
is an added thrill.
A
visit to the casino would not be complete
without a visit to their unique Home Equity
Roulette table. Pick out your favorite numbers,
give the dealer your address, and bet away.
Should luck not run your way, there's no reason
to leave... because the dealer is also a licensed
real estate broker. After a quick verification
of your home equity, you're ready to start
again, sure to hit one of these times. And
if not, no problem. No one goes away a loser.Stop
by the Bonus Booth on your way out for your
free gift-a booklet entitled "Handy Tips For
Moving Out Of Your Home."
Credit
Casino hasn't forgotten about the kids, either.
There's a video arcade called "LenderLand,"
where children of all ages test their skills
and win a down payment toward valuable stuffed
toys. What a wonderful way for children to
learn the meaning of compound interest as
they incur obligations against future allowances.
And because Credit Casino is co-owned by TLW
Credit Reporting and a consortium of banks,
your kids are actually building their credit
history for their future.
There's
no longer a reason to save up for a visit
to Las Vegas, because at Credit Casino you've
already been pre-approved!
