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Dear
Dottie,
I
have a serious problem with my boss.
All
I do is listen to a radio while I work, which makes my
day go by much faster. Now my employer wants me to stop
listening to it. Don't you agree he's being unreasonable?
–Radio Fan
Dear
Fan,
That's
ridiculous. I suggest you turn it on and keep it on–even
turn the volume up to show others how ridiculous his behavior
is. Then show him my opinion. He'll be so embarrassed,
he'll probably give you a raise.
Dear
Dottie,
Apparently
you gave an employee of mine some questionable advice
recently.
You
said it was satisfactory for her to play her radio loudly
while she works. To make matters worse, at your suggestion
she turned up the volume and blasted us all with Rush
Limbaugh right in the middle of a very crucial moment
in our day. She has been fired and I doubt she'll ever
find another job as a court reporter, thanks to you.
–Superior
Court Judge Reinhold Pompano
Dear
Judge,
What
can I say? Whoops!
Dear
Dottie,
I
know how you like letters of inspiration. Here's mine.
I
feel like the luckiest guy in the world. I was recently
on trial for embezzlement–a crime which I do not
feel I committed exactly, or at least in the precise manner
they describe.
However,
I must admit that when the prosecutors found the stolen
money in my bank account and my plane tickets to Bora
Bora, my explanation of an accidental ledger error was
becoming more and more difficult for the jurors to comprehend.
Sophisticated accounting techniques are very difficult
to understand for the layman.
So
there I was, about to be convicted, when, during the prosecutor's
summary remarks, the court reporter suddenly blasts her
radio. The court room is filled with Rush Limbaugh yelling
about how liberal judges are too soft on criminals. Needless
to say, my attorney was able to get a mistrial. Sometimes
fate has a funny way of stepping in when you really need
it, huh?
–Willard
"Fingers" McDougall.
Dear
Fingers,
Thank
you. There's a lesson we can all learn from your experience.
Though I'm not quite sure what it is.
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